What to Say When a Friend Tells You She Has Had an Abortion

by Nancy Flanders | Washington, DC | LifeNews.com | 9/2/13 1:24 PM

A friend once confided in me that she had had an abortion. She had two children and pregnancy hadn’t been easy on her. Her doctors told her that continuing her latest pregnancy was risking her life. I could tell she was in pain and I didn’t know what to say. No one had ever told me flat out about their abortion before. There is so much I should have said and done in that moment. But I didn’t. Here’s what you should do if your friend confides in you about her abortion.
Be Compassionate
Even if your friend is speaking with pride about her abortion it is likely she is hurting. She is looking for a shoulder to lean on, not someone to tell her that she’s failure or that God hates her or that you can’t believe she did such a thing. Hug her. Tell her you’re sorry. Ask her how she is feeling. Ask her how you can help.
Listen
Let her tell you her story. Hear her reasons. Let her speak without interruption. She chose to tell you because she trusts you. This isn’t the time to tell her how you feel about abortion. It’s time for you to listen without judgment.
Say It’s Okay
Don’t tell her she made the right decision, but do tell her that it will be okay. That God still loves her, that you still love her. Many women become suicidal after an abortion. If your friend is feeling this way, get her help immediately.
Find Support
Your friend is struggling and there’s only so much you can do to help her. Tell her about groups like Surrendering the Secret and Project Rachel. Let her know that there is hope and healing after an abortion and that she is not alone. There are women out there who know exactly what she’s going through and they would love to help her and support her without judgment.
Continue to Support Her
Let her know you will be there for her whenever she needs to talk or cry or scream. You will be there to help her put her life back together. To run errands or babysit her children. If your friend begins to isolate herself, don’t let her. Seek her out. Show her you love her.
It’s going to be a long journey for your friend. She needs to find healing, but she can’t do that alone. Don’t abandon her during this difficult time. Don’t send her away by making her feel worse than she already does. This is your opportunity to truly be there for someone in need and to show your pro-life spirit.

LifeNews Note: Nancy is a work at home mom who writes about parenting, special needs children, and the right to life. She is the lucky mother of two spirited little girls, one who has cystic fibrosis, and she spends any free moment she can find fundraising for a cure for CF. You can read her personal blog at www.ChronicAdmissions.com. Reprinted from Live Action News.

$30 saves a baby!

At St. Mary's Bazaar yesterday while sharing our pro-life vision, (along with a few pro-life goodies and information,) we made a startling discovery.

The Big BLUE BUS costs about $250 a day to be out on the street. This costs includes the salary for our wonderful RN, vehicle costs, and supplies for the mobile clinic. It seemed like a great deal...until a gentleman asked how many babies we saved on an average day. As far as I could tell, it ran about 5 to 10 when the bus is there and there are TWO counselors.

FYI, we need at least two counselors, because the staff at PP has someone talking the girls into the parking lot. They come around the corner with their phones glued to their ears. Meanwhile the PP employee is looking out of an window on the seventh floor. The girls are then directed to bypass the counselors by turning in the other driveway!

Back to the baby saves. Say we average 8 babies a day. $250 divided by eight is give or take $30.

Kind reminds me of 30 pieces of silver...

But THIS TIME, one can SAVE a life for $30!

???Would YOU SAVE a life for $30??? Please support me as I Walk for Life to support the BLUE BUS. http://www.ministrysync.com/event/website/?m=1475489

1. "BREAKTHROUGH" the Celebration on the Sidewalk, is NEXT Saturday, Sept 7th, 10 to 12 noon. It is on 29th Street in the field across from Planned Parenthood in Bryan. For those coming from the south, take the Briarcrest exit off Hwy 6, go past Walmart; right past Bryan High, turn left onto 29th. PP is about 5 lights. Follow the crowd!

 

2. Here is a story of an EX clinic worker. Abby Johnson, who will be at BREAKTHROUGH, tells the story:

I was drawn to PP for the same reasons many are...helping woman and men in crisis. I live in a very high poverty area in Northern California. Offering birth control at low or no cost to these women (and female reproductive health care) seemed like a pretty smart idea. Like so many people, my brain was just thinking birth control methods and annual exams.  I genuinely believed that was their goal. 
That changed when I was required to go to an abortion clinic in our affiliate in order to observe abortions.  I was asked by my Health Center Director what my thoughts were on my experience...what a trap. She wanted me to use the term "empowering" as I discussed my experience.  Instead, I said it was disturbing. That is when it went down hill for me. Prior to that I often received employee of the month, customer service awards....I actually began refusing them.
After that conversation with my supervisor I quickly realized something...Planned Parenthood does not empower women and I have not been helping them.  We were hindering them from making good choices and being responsible.  We were sending the message "do whatever you want sexually, we will help you take care of any consequences."
At the end of my time there, I had tried to suggest things that would, by their terms, reduce the number of unintended pregnancies (therefore reducing the number of abortions).  That's what we said our goal was, right?  But when I suggested that we give reminder calls for birth control injections, pill refills, etc, it was quickly shot down.  They said that would be "too costly in staff time."  That was too costly, but they had no problem spending $20,000 on wall art?  It became very easy to see their priorities, and it was not on women's health. 
I am so thankful that there is an organization to help people like me.  It is good to know that I am forgiven and that I am not alone.  Thank you, And Then There Were None. http://www.attwn.org/
3. The BLUE BUS needs our support again. It is time for the Walk for Life, Sept 13, 9-11 am. You can either walk, or you can sponsor me, and I will do the walking! Here's where you donate: http://www.ministrysync.com/event/website/?m=1475489#1
4. To sin up to walk yourself, go to: http://www.houstoncoalition.com/

The Price of "Choice" for African Americans

Please check out this article on abortion and African Americans.

Black Genocide

Check out this link! this directs you to Dr. Clenard H. Childress, founder of www.BlackGenocide.org and a nationally renowned speaker along with Rev. Dr. Johnny Hunter the national director of L E. A. R. N the Life Education And Resource Network the largest Afro-American Pro-life organization in America .

Rev .Dr. Johnny Hunter stated that since 1882 till 1968 3,446 Afro-Americans were lynched here in the US. That number is surpassed in 3 days by abortion.

There are 15 million African Americans missing and 15 million African American women hurting due to the greed and lies of the abortion industry. African American’s make up 12% of the population (7% women) but 35% of all abortions are performed on an Afro-American women.

Scroll on down to hear more on this link.

Open adoption

My family is part of an open adoption. It is so comforting to visit our adopted-out grandson and to be a part of his life. "J" is a bright and happy little boy with a loving two -parent Christian home. His parents and grandparents love him and his brother (also adopted) and have no hesitation in allowing both birth parents and their parents (birth -grandparents) to freely interact with the boys.

According to "J"'s dad, "There can never be too many people to love a child."

Open adoption is wonderful! If anyone has questions about pen adoption, feel free to email me at prolifenance@gmail.com

Save the Date!

Remember March 30, 6 pm St. Paul's Episcopal Church. FIRST-EVER PRO-LIFE RALLY in Grimes County. Whoo-hoo!